We wanted to share with you all a fantastic first draft of a piece of writing from Dion. This piece was written following work the children are doing as part of their topic on Rivers and water and from their literacy work looking at Journalistic writing. The subject of the piece is a flood that took place in an area of Pakistan. Dion has shown a wonderful flare for language and really listened to all Monica’s advice on how to make his writing sophisticated and interesting. Well done Dion.
‘In Pakistan floods have been showing their wrath, sweeping away the towns. This was caused by rain smashing against the river banks so now the Pakistani people are trapped in a flood, their only means of escape is by boat or helicopter but as not many people own these vehicles, it will be a slow process.
The devastation has no limits as the houses have been partly or fully eroded. In addition to losing their homes they have lost family friends and their rights to safety and water that is clean. Disease ridden and murky, the water is giving people diarrhoea and, to make it worse, the lack of privacy is disturbing and very embarrassing. The fear and panic is immense as the flood still owns the town, killing anything in its way.
The loss rate is extremely high so Pakistan can lose a fifth of their population if this goes on another year. Shonghia Longa, a boatman, told us how he got away and how he felt about leaving his home. “I boated my family to safety only bringing other families and all our stuff that was in bags. I was petrified.” That proves how bad things are.
Zoe Van Nuneyah, business woman for UNICEF claimed that the floods have destroyed children’s lives taking away most of their rights. We are unable to count the amount as the monsoon still goes on, making the flood even worse and showing the destructive rhythm of nature. The people missing are in large amounts so they will just have to hold on for dear life.
The continuous effect of the flood has caused havoc as it pranced around waiting for its next victim as it dragged them under. It is no wonder that is going to be remembered.’
